Acceptance

Dear Mr Heartless,

It’s unfortunate that you never got to experience my love. I was so willing to give you every change you needed to see that I was going to love you unconditionally. I understand that I wasn’t so open to sharing my thoughts and feelings with you, but I gave you my all even when I down, even when you hurt me. The pain you inflicted will never go away, but I like to see them as my battle wounds. I mean I was so ready to give all of me to you, even something so valuable and sacred like my virginity. I look back now and I understand why you didn’t want to commit to a girl like me. I was too smart, too sophisticated, too wise for all of your lies.

But this year away from home and away from you has changed me. I’m a different girl, not the girl you remember. I’m no longer willing to chase after you. I’m no longer worrying who you’re talking too. I’m no longer worried about making you mines. I must admit, it hurt me. To see you with someone else, someone who isn’t me. To see you parade her around town and give her everything you never gave me.

I have come to accept my feelings. I have so much love for you, but we no longer communicate. Sometimes I wish I could force myself to call or text, but I don’t want to be disrespectful to your new relationship. Even with this acceptance, knowing that I’m not meant to be with you, the tears I want to cry refuse to fall. Just because I never cried over you, doesn’t mean I feel any less sad. But to know that the last kiss we shared was going to be written in a closed book, I can’t wrap my head around it. There has been many times where I’ve wanted to run into your arms and kiss you and tell you I miss you. God put you in my life for a reason, I’m still trying to figure out if it was a blessing or a lesson.

Maybe one day I’ll tell you how I feel and I won’t beat around the bush. But I accept that me and you are no longer and I do believe that if we’re meant to be it’ll be. I wish you many blessing and success, there is no hate in my heart. It may sting to see her all over your social media, but I am okay. I can’t stress this topic of you and me anymore, but I will always be here if you ever need me.

Love,

Your old lover girl

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